CHECK OUT THE ISSUE
Click any of the list items below for more information:
- Affairs & Betrayals
- Anxiety & Stress
- Counselling Supervision & Consultancy
- Depression, Low Mood and S.A.D.
- Domestic Violence and/or Abuse
- Employment Assistance Providers
- Family Transitions
- Marriage Preparation
- Personal & Individual Development
- Same Sex Relationships
- Sexual Problems
- Bereavement, Loss, Grief and Mourning
- Childhood Issues and Personal Development
- Couples, Relationships & Same-Sex Relationships
- Divorce and Separation
- Employment, Redundancy and Work Related Issues
- Family Relationships
- Health Related Issues
- Individual Counselling
- IVF Counselling
- Relationship Issues
- Parenting Apart
- Problem Communication
- Relate Qualified Practitioner
- Self Esteem and Self Confidence
- Suicidal Feelings
If you have been a victim of any form of abuse, at any point in your life and this continues to intrude upon your life, it may be a good idea to talk to a professional. I will offer you a safe, space in which you will never be judged. I will bear witness to your story and we can think together about how you might make things more bearable for you.
A stage of human development: the journey each one of us must make from childhood to adulthood; from dependency to independence; moving from being a part of a family group, through the phase as a part of a peer group finally arriving at our destination as an autonomous adult member of society. As is well recognised, this can be a confusing and baffling time during which conflict and tensions are common. As a qualified young people's counsellor I've found many young people have found talking with an impartial professional counsellor in confidence has been helpful in discovering effective ways of negotiating the hurdles – helping avoid the difficulties escalating or following them into their adult lives.
Discovering your partner has had an affair can be a deeply painful experience. It is not uncommon to feel utterly bereft. After all, it changes everything you ever believed about your relationship. The affair may be a symptom of a relationship that has been getting into trouble for a while. Perhaps no-one quite knew how to start to talk about that. Perhaps, no-one realised. This is a time when counselling can really help couples to take a look together at what has been going wrong for them. You might not know what you want to do. Do I want to try to stay together and work it out? Do I think I’ll never get over this? Can we find a way forward together and build a better relationship? What about the kids? Sometimes couples are ready to look at this together with a counsellor because they hope to restore their relationship. Some may be more uncertain and then others may find themselves needing to talk to a counsellor alone.
On the other hand, it may also be that you find yourself having an affair and want to work out on your own what you want to do. Call me.
is just one of the many feelings which humans experience. Our feelings are very simply telling us something. Some of us have learned how to manage these feelings safely, others find them more difficult. Can I talk reasonably about feeling angry with someone? Or do I find I am shouting and screaming and frightening others around me? If we are not careful, anger can become a destructive element in our lives. If this is a problem for you then it is important that you decide to take a look at what is happening for you, with a professional to find a better way of understanding and expressing your feelings.
Are you feeling stressed or anxious? Is something constantly worrying you? Is your sleep disrupted? Do you find the same old thoughts going round and around, but you can’t seem to get them out of your head? Do you find your concentration is poor? You may know of a particular issue that has cropped up that is bothering you. May be an issue at home or at work or in your relationships? Feeling unable to sort out the things that are causing us the stress is debilitating. When clients present with these issues, I offer a calm, non-judgmental space where I will enable you to identify what lies behind these feelings and reactions, we will explore this in connection with your beliefs, (the way you see the world) and detect quite why the coping strategies you normally employ are not working in your current situation. This way we can help you make a better sense of what has been going on and help you to develop new ways of dealing with the concerns you have; taking your life back under control.
these are all terms you will be familiar with. But what do they mean? You may be feeling tearful, angry, frightened. When you are suddenly faced with the loss of a loved one, a partner, a sibling, a parent, a child, a marriage, the jumble of feelings can be devastating and confusing. The loss may have occurred through illness, accident, a personal decision or simply down to ‘old age’. May be you have lost a job, or been made redundant. Perhaps you have recently moved house, or possibly left your country behind. Such events turn our world upside down. No wonder you might struggle for a while. When you think about it your world has gone through a re-organisation you were not prepared for. If you want someone to talk with, to help you make sense of what has happened and to adjust to your loss, then I will offer you that safe, calm space in which to be for a while. There is life after loss.
can have a devastating impact on our self confidence. If it is happening to you, you may be feeling quite isolated and unhappy. May be you have experienced it growing up, at home, at school, or perhaps this is going on at the place you work? It is good to talk about this in the safe and calm space counselling can offer. I would help you to talk through and understand what is happening and why you might be finding things hard. From there we can work out new ways to cope with it and take charge of your life again. Don’t let the bullies get the better of you.
Sometimes difficult things happened to us early on in our childhood. Childhood is our place of learning about ourselves and the world we live in and we are novices. Often we find ways of dealing with things that happen. Occasionally we might not have found such a good way of managing some situations. Those ‘I hate it when this happens’ moments. Are you at a point when you are finding it hard to enjoy life? Do you feel you are not really reaching your full potential? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Is something getting in the way of you living life to the full? Do you lack confidence? Have you stopped believing in yourself? Perhaps you’re already aware of the problem you have always known about and have decided now is the time to do something about it. Often the thing that is ‘getting in the way’ is linked to something we didn’t find a good solution to as a child. Probably time to seek out some help! I work often with folk like you, looking for support in developing a better understanding of yourself and your feelings. I can help you find a different way of dealing with the things that can trigger you into uncomfortable feelings, find new coping strategies that can really help you reach a more contented sense of self, accepting the person you are, improving your general well-being. It is a better place to be.
is available for qualified counsellors/therapists and for trainees; provided in accordance with BACP standards. See separate page for further information. If you are looking for supervision do call to discuss. Always happy to talk.
Is your relationship in trouble? Do you feel your marriage, your couple or your family isn’t doing so well? Whichever relationship is giving you problems, I suspect you will be feeling unhappy. Are you feeling less secure? Do you find yourself arguing more? Are you being unkind to one another? Do you feel the respect has gone? Are you feeling that you’re drifting apart? Are you having difficulty communicating effectively? Is the sex no longer what it once was? May be it is time to seek out some counselling to help you find out what is going wrong. As a trained and experienced relationship therapist and couple counsellor, this is one of the main areas of my work. Whether you come along alone or with your partner, I will listen to your concerns without judging you; listen to how each of you sees the problem and help you listen better to one another. I will work with you to enable you to a better understanding of what might be happening and enable you to seek some alternative solutions. Human beings are social animals and we seek relationships, so when they go wrong, we can begin to feel lonely and let down, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Counselling can help you find the solution that feels right for you and I will be with you every step of that journey.
Feeling low, feeling depressed is grim. We often don’t function very well. We are not at our best. When you think about it, your mood is a constantly changing information system. It helps you to monitor what is going on. Our mood doesn’t normally stay the same. When you find yourself stuck with your mood constantly feeling low, thoroughly dejected, hopeless or depressed, everyday seems hard work. Has your appetite changed? Is your sleep disturbed? Are your energy levels low? Do you find it hard to concentrate and find it hard to make decisions? You may be asking yourself, am I just fed up and low or am I depressed? You may choose to start by seeing your GP or you may decide that it would be good to start to talk. Sometimes people have had recurrent bouts of depression, for others it may be the first time ever they have felt as they do. Perhaps you can’t make sense of why you feel like this. The feelings may have been triggered by an unusual event or it may simply seem random. It is nothing to be ashamed about, but the sooner you begin to do something about it the better. The aim of the work I do is to help you understand the underlying issues and help you make better sense of things in order to find a better way of coping. It is good to understand. When you can make sense of what is going on for you then you can decide how you will take charge of your life again and feel re-empowered. Living with depression can be isolating, so if you are reading this and are considering what to do, then do contact me.
are not in our long term plan. But if you are facing the prospect of either it is likely you will be feeling distressed and very uncertain. The very idea may be tipping your world and upside down. Talking to family or friends can sometimes feel helpful although you may be hearing so many different opinions it just feels more confusing. The decisions you make about your relationship, you will need to make with each other. Both separation and divorce are adult decisions made about adult relationships. If you are not sure whether this is the right route for you, it is important to begin to talk with someone with professional expertise in relationships. I, as an experienced couple counsellor will be able to help you come to the decision with your eyes wide open. If there are no children involved, the decision is less complicated. Where children are involved there is a lot to be considered. It does help to have a safe place to explore all the issues that need to be considered.
So it is important to be able to ask yourself: Is there a chance we could work at the relationship so it works better for us? Are we going to separate? Are we going to divorce? What about the family? Are we able to communicate effectively with one another about what is going on? What will these decisions mean for our children? What will they mean for where we live? How will we acknowledge the ending of our relationship? How we will move on? Counselling could help you develop more respectful ways of communicating which will help in the future as your family changes. So if you’re wondering what you might do next, do call and we can chat about where to begin.
Does your relationship currently feel unsafe? Are you worried or frightened by your partner’s behaviour? Are you feeling controlled? Both Domestic Violence and Domestic Abuse are issues that people bring to counselling. Sometimes people come to talk about their relationship but haven’t understood that the behaviours they are talking about - amount to abusive behaviour. Whether they are acknowledged or not, neither are okay in any relationship. If you are feeling unsafe or afraid in your relationship then I suggest you call Women’s Aid - a private and confidential 24 hour Helpline for those needing support. The National number is 0808 2000 247. If you are in immediate danger, don’t hesitate, call 999. Following that, it will be important to contact someone like myself, trained in couple work and with dealing with situations where Domestic Abuse needs to be addressed.
I will offer you a safe space to be able to begin a conversation. If necessary I will offer separate assessment sessions where you may each feel less afraid to say what you need to say. I am not there to judge you. I will listen to your problem and think with you about the best way forward. If either Domestic Violence or Abuse is present, it may not be the safe option to engage in couple counselling. I will assess the situation carefully and offer appropriate advice about the ways forward. At all times I will promote safety. If you are unsure of how to start, do not worry, you may come on your own or with your partner and I will be there to help and guide you to the best way forward. People in this situation often feel lonely and isolated, so it is important that you seek help as soon as you can. Call me for an initial chat if you wish.
As you read this, if you are afraid, if you believe that you or your children could be at risk and need a place to talk, it is important to get professional help. So please call for an appointment. If you are in immediate danger you should call 999. You can also contact Women's Aid. Tel. 0808 200 247.
Are you unhappy in your work? Do you feel you are not being treated fairly by people you work with? Are you being bullied by someone? Is someone harassing you? Are you losing confidence in yourself at work? Have you just lost your job or been made redundant? I guess it doesn’t feel too good. Something is definitely not right. If you have no-one you are able to contact at work, or don’t feel confident that you would get a good hearing, it will be important to seek out someone to whom you can talk. It may be that your employers offer confidential support and counselling to their staff members through an Employment Assistance Provider. Check that out. You may find that you have a limited number of sessions provided/paid for by your employer. I do work as a counsellor for a number of EAPs. But failing that, if you would like a safe place to begin to talk about the problems you are facing to be able to work out ways you might deal with the problems then please contact me. I am ready to talk.
You may find that your employer offers their staff the services of an Employment Assistance Provider, and EAP. Because we work at our best when we are happy and well, your employer wants contented staff. So if you are having problems in your life, not necessarily just at work, you may find that your company will provide this service. There will be a variety of services on offer. In terms of counselling, you start by making contact with the EAP where they will offer a quick telephone assessment of your situation. They will advise what kind of help will be available to you and how the service will work.
If you are not fortunate to have this service through your employer then you may contact me for a private counselling service. Look up the issue that concerns you here on my website. I do work for a number of different EAP’s but all the clients I take through this service are referred to me by the EAP.
If you are having difficulties with people in your family currently or have had a problem in the past sometime and this is bothering you, you may be thinking you want to talk to someone. Sometimes difficulties arise with a parent or a sibling. May be the issue has been going on forever. It may be you are having problems in your current family, with in-laws or maybe you are in a new partnership and having to learn to be a step parent. The possibilities are endless. But I suspect if this is happening it will be impacting a much wider part of your life. Do you feel worried or unhappy? Are you tense a lot of the time? Our relationships are a vital part of our lives and to function well, we need our relationships to be easy. If this is you and you would like a place to consider your difficulty, I would be happy to work with you. We’d talk about the problem and explore to understand what is going on and help you work out the options of what you might do.
Just as life seems to settle into a pattern, something changes. That often leaves us a little thrown. Our ‘norm’ has changed. We call these ‘transitions’. May be you are single and preparing to commit to a relationship? Maybe you are dealing with the thrill of having a new baby, but finding it hard to adjust to this new demanding baby coming on the scene? May be one of your children are about to leave home? Perhaps you are considering having an elderly relative move in? Perhaps you are about to become a step-parent and have some qualms about that? Changes happen all the time during the life-time of a family. Sometimes you have ideas of how to deal with the issue, but your partner has very different ideas and you seem to be finding it hard to come to some kind of arrangement. Some of these things pose no problem, others we might find difficult. If this is your kind of problem, then I would be there to listen to your story and explore the issues in more depth. We’d then think about the ideas together, helping to broaden your views and open up new perspective. Together we would identify the particular element you are finding hard. Identifying the exact problem, which often eludes us, is the key to the solution. If you’d like to talk about anything to do with your family dynamics, do call me, I will be happy to be of help if I can.
Any one of us might be affected by illness from time to time. It may be we have contracted an illness or that someone we are close to has become ill. Of course we all suffer from the odd virus or cold or other short term inconvenience now and then and we know we will soon be rid of it. However, chronic disease, long-term illness, and serious life-threatening illnesses, have a different impact on our lives. There is an impact if we are the one diagnosed with an illness. We lose our ‘fitness’ and it may stop us working for a time, or living the life we are used to. We may have to undergo investigations or treatment. All this takes time to adjust to. If it is your loved one who has been diagnosed with an illness, then tat too changes everything that has become our ‘norm’. These kind of events can throw us. May be you know you are dealing with something like this? Are you feeling worried or frightened? Are you feeling isolated? How is this news impacting your family and their future? You may be facing a change to your normal role in the family and if your role is changing, so will those of all the other‘s in the family too. I could list a multitude of illnesses, but would leave out the one you might be facing. All illnesses can bring about enormous disruption and leave people struggling to cope with their changing patterns. I’d work to listen to your particular issue and explore what it means for you, to help you feel more in control of what is happening and may be to find new ways of coping with your altered world.
Have you lost a sense of who you are? Are you lacking confidence? Have you a poor sense of your worth, your value? Is this limiting how you live your life? Does it leave you feeling isolated and lonely? Are you uncertain about your sexuality? When we talk about our ‘identity’, we mean the sense we have of ourselves. How would you describe yourself and your qualities? How would you describe your strengths and your vulnerabilities? We arrive at these conclusions about ourselves, from our life’s journey. How did you feel you fitted into your family, growing up? What did you make of the world in which you were growing up? What were the things you found easy? What were the things you found difficult to manage? We start off small and vulnerable and grow through childhood, adolescence until we finally reach the maturity of our adulthood. We thrive and flourish best in a relatively secure environment for enough of the time. For each of us however, we will have faced some ‘tasks’ that we found more difficult and they may hang about still bothering us from time to time. Perhaps it is something that has left you with a poor sense of yourself, of who you are, lacking confidence and with little sense of worth. Feelings of inadequacy present a major drawback in our lives. If some of this seems to ring bells with you, if you are confused about who you are and you feel it is time to do something about it, do call me. I would work with you to explore your ideas and how you came to form them. We’d work together to enable you to build a better sense of the real you and how you might start to believe in yourself again.
When you hear the term Individual Counselling we are talking about working with a counsellor like me on your own unique personal issues; areas of you that you want to explore with someone. The space is yours and you give yourself that special time and attention to consider things that trouble you or stop you living life to the full, whatever that might amount to. Are you bothered by uncomfortable feelings or troubling ideas? Do you sometimes wish you could deal better with some situations? Is there a relationship in your life that has never felt good? Has there been an experience in your life that you have never been able to talk through with anyone and you long to have someone to listen and care? I am sure you will already have tried every way you know of trying to get rid of these troublesome feelings. No problem is trivial. If something troubles you then I am here to help you make a better sense of it. I will offer you the time it takes, the respect you are due and a safe, confidential place in which to explore what is happening for you to help you reach your chosen goal. I will hear your story and validate you. I work using a framework to explore the issues you bring in the context of your life. I aim to enable you to reach a better understanding of yourself. In so doing, new ideas of how you might respond to the problems differently tend to emerge.
For some couples, the failure to conceive a baby and create their own family can be devastating. It puts a huge strain on any relationship. Your hopes and expectations rise and then get dashed again and again. And any treatment doesn’t come with a guarantee. It may be that you are offered IVF treatment or other forms of fertility treatment. On the other hand, it could be that the options for you are diminishing. This will be truly hard to bear if you have set your heart on wanting a family of your own. You may find yourself embroiled in a medicalised process. The support offered can be patchy. Are you caught up in a cycle like this? Do you find it is affecting how you and your partner communicate? Is it affecting your loving relationship? Can you talk with your partner about your diminishing hope and be interested in how they too might be feeling? Or do you find yourself trying to protect each other by not saying anything too controversial? Do you feel your friends and family don’t quite understand? Are you sure you are both still on the same track? It can certainly be a lonely trail. If you would like to talk about your situation with me, as an experience therapist working with couples, I offer you a safe and quiet space where you can feel free to talk about all the very real feelings you may be dealing with. The work we would do together aims to strengthening your ability to be honest with one another and learn to share the darkest of feelings and nurture the bond between you rather than allow the distance to separate you.
Marriage is a big step. If you are reading this you are already on a steady path. Marriage Prep acknowledges what you are doing well together. Marriage is a journey so it is always changing and we need to keep that in mind. In Marriage Prep we work through some of the most important aspects of any relationship. Focusing on open communication and problem solving, two of the main areas we cover and picking up on any potential pitfalls early, will offer your relationship the best chance for the future.
Have you recently suffered a miscarriage? Perhaps it is not the first time? The sense of loss for some can be overwhelming? The fear that some people feel about whether they will ever conceive can leave them feeling depressed or lonely. Some people have told me that they find it really hard to talk about with their partner. They say others don’t quite understand. If this speaks of your experience and you would like a place to talk things through with a professional, do call me. I will offer you the time and space in which to express your feelings and work them through. Together we might consider and reflect on the loss you have suffered, acknowledge your true feelings in order to enable you to feel ready to re-engage with the world once again.
How are we going to manage our parenting once we live apart? Perhaps you are considering separation and your family is going to be facing different times. Maybe you have already separated. Of course you will have been struggling with many difficult feelings about your own relationship ending and the loss you are going through. Yet, if you have children, you need to focus on their well-being as your family changes. It was you the adults who made the decisions about your adult relationship but it will be important for both of you to minimise the disruption on the children as far as you are able. The children won’t have chosen this and will need your support to adjust to their new family situation. Although you will be making the decisions, they appreciate having a say. They want you to answer their questions in a straightforward way but keep it simple. It is important to remember they need time with each of you whether you find that hard or not. They love each of you and they need to feel close to you both. They need to feel relaxed when they are with either of you. They want to enjoy time with each of you. They don’t want you arguing in front of them or bad mouthing one another, so communicating respectfully with one another is paramount. If this is where you are, it can be really helpful to talk things through with a relationship counsellor. This is a major part of the work I do when couples decide they are going their own way. I operate as a neutral third party with whom you can consider the many aspect of what you’ll need to be thinking about. I offer a safe space, to explore and think about what needs to be considered. The work will enable you to devise good ways to be your own parent whilst being cooperative with your ‘X’. It is really important work that will enable you to maintain a more stable home environment for your children as you can. Even a handful of sessions will pay dividends. The better you handle the parenting job, the better you will adjust to your new and separate lives too.
Is there something that you feel has happened in your life that seems to be getting in the way? Has there been a poor relationship with someone in your family? Did you feel you got a raw deal in your family growing up? Is there something that is holding you back? Perhaps you’re feeling down or lacking in confidence? Are you aware of an old hurt, from your early years growing up, that seems to be bothering you again? Thought you’d dealt with it, but keeps popping up again and again? Or maybe was there some event back then that you weren’t able to talk about, that is still troubling you and it is leaving you disheartened or miserable? If you have reached a point that you want to deal with this once and for all, you’d like to feel free of the difficult thoughts and feelings so you can enjoy your life, it might be the right time to seek someone to work with. You will of course have done everything you can to try to sort it, but that isn’t working as well as it might. If you feel ready to give yourself the time to work things through, then do make contact. I will work with you to explore what is happening for you for you to get a better understanding of what might be happening out of your awareness. Some things that happen in our childhood have a nasty habit of coming back to bother us. Once you gain new insight and have a better understanding, new ideas emerge that suggest alternative ways of coping. You will then feel more able to take charge of your life again. You will find your confidence and self-worth improve.
This must be the most common problem presented to me by clients by a long shot. Communication is at the heart of every relationship and the nature of the communication reflects the relationship. So when communication goes wrong, whatever relationship is involved may be in trouble too. It may be your communication with a partner, a child, a parent, with a work colleague ... I could go on. Counselling can help you understand that it takes two people to communicate. Two people create the relationship which is as it is from the input of each of the two parties involved – what you communicate to one another. Communication seems like every-day stuff, but it is inherently complex and frequently flawed. Communication is about both talking and listening. None of us can be sure that what we intend to be understood – is how the other one is hearing it – but we tend to plough on regardless. We bicker, we argue, we criticise, we blame and on it goes and gradually the cost of our communicating poorly is the relationship between. This is where couple counselling comes into its own, offering the couple a place to be heard without judgement or blame; validated. It provides a valuable opportunity to learn to start listening more accurately, to know how it feels to be heard; to understand what is happening underneath the words and learn to be more caring and kind to one another. Counselling when communication is the problem has a good record of positive results.
Are you feeling that there is a problem in your relationship? May be the difficulty is in your marriage or with your partner? Perhaps you have a problem with a colleague or may be a family member? We are social beings and our relationships matter to us. We want to feel connected. We look for companionship, security and stability as well as love and care. We need to feel accepted for just who we are. When things starts to go wrong it can affect how we feel about ourselves, our confidence can slip and we can feel as if we might be drifting apart. Of course it takes two to make a relationship. We learn about how to be in a relationship from our very first encounters in our families growing up. We then take the ideas we form forward into our adult relationships (quite without knowing we are doing this) using it as a ‘model’. It is uncanny, however well we get on, that from time to time, difficult feelings from our early experience may, quite unwittingly, get triggered by the actions or words of our partners. We don’t mean this to happen. But unless we have good ways to solve problems, this can lead to recurring difficulties. Problems in relationships can arise in all area of the relationship. They are all important to deal with. If you are feeling unhappy in your relationship, for whatever reason, couple counselling can be helpful in enabling you to resolve them. In the safety of the counselling forum, I would listen to how you each see the problem together we would explore what’s happening to develop a better understanding which opens up new opportunities for better ways to resolve your difficulties. The skills you learn within counselling are there for you for life. So don’t leave it until counselling becomes the ‘last resort.’ The sooner you step in the better.
Having trained with and worked for Relate for more than two decades, I continue to expand my work in the field of relationships within my own varied and busy Private Practice which has been running now for over 10 years. I offer extensive experience working with couples and relationship issues as well as with individuals and personal development.
Are you gay? Are you having a personal difficulty? Maybe you are in a same-sex relationship which is having problems? All relationships encounter similar problems. All relationships are unique. Whether you are in a relationship or not, I treat all clients the same. If you are in a same-sex relationship, I hold the opinion that all relationships are equally valid. This applies, whatever the problem you are having, whether you are single, in a same sex relationship or a heterosexual relationship. In my practice, as a relationship therapist, I routinely see same-sex couples whose problems run a close parallel with those of other couples. You can feel confident that I will aim to be as open and accepting of you as I would with any couple who comes to me for counselling. So if you are having a problem right now, if you want someone to talk it through with, take a look under the problem heading and make contact, to get the help you are looking for.
By which we really mean how we see ourselves, whether we think we have worth or not and whether we feel we have the courage to be ourselves. Are you feeling unhappy? Do you find that you withdraw and hide yourself away? Are you feeling isolated? Are you apologising for being who you are? Are you finding it difficult to ask for what you need? Do you feel that you are not getting the most out of your life? If we have had sufficient encouragement growing up and felt people accepted us and gave us a sense we were okay, then we grow up with more confidence. On the other hand, if we grew up with criticism, hostility or rejection we tend to lack that courage and grow up more timid and full of self-doubt. We miss out on such a lot if we stay in this place. Faced with challenges and stressful situations, the self-doubt can find its way back into our lives reminding us of our own (mistaken) idea that we aren’t of much value. If this speaks about what you are feeling right now, then you may find counselling really helpful. I will hear you without judgement and validate you and help you to see the real you that hides away under this cloud of self-doubt. I will explore with you how you may have come to feel this way and together we will begin to build the picture of the person you really are. This will enable you to believe in yourself and face the world with greater resilience and be better equipped to face events life presents in the future. A better future is there for the taking.
Some people find it difficult to talk about sex. Problems arising in your sexual relationships however can create huge distress. Is this you? Is your sexual relationship not what it once was? Are you finding it hard to talk about how you are feeling? Do you need a safe, confidential place in which to begin to talk? We hope for the sexual aspect of our relationships to help us maintain our couple bond and keep us feeling connected, secure and loved. Sometimes when a relationship is in trouble then sex goes off the menu. Sometimes, it’s when the sex is less frequent and loses its fun then the relationship takes the toll. Sex is a natural and loving part of any intimate couple relationship. Some are fortunate to have grown up in an environment where there were healthy attitudes towards sex; others who were not so fortunate. There are many and varied reasons why people develop distorted ideas around the subject of sex which then come to dog them in their adult sexual encounters. Sometimes the difficulties that arise have a physical explanation. Others will tend to evolve from a more psychological base. Whatever the root cause, if you are reading this and you feel your sexual relationship is in trouble and want it to be different, I suspect you will be feeling deeply distressed, lonely, anxious and even fearful. Don’t feel alone. It would be good to contact and speak with a therapist who can offer help. As a trained and experienced couple therapist, talking sexually and working on the sexual aspects of the relationship is all part and parcel of what I do. You can attend alone or with your partner to start your conversation. Why not make contact?
Have you been having thoughts around suicide? Have you been considering ending it all? Has life become so difficult you don’t know how you will cope with it? It is frightening when these thoughts come into our heads. Many people, at different times will have thought about or even tried to take their own life and no-one gets to hear about it. Many young people will have tried to harm themselves and ended up in hospital. Most recover and never try again. A small number of people however will succeed in killing themselves, when all they really wanted was help, someone to be there for them, because they are feeling so miserable and low. So feeling suicidal can be dangerous and you need a place to talk. If you are feeling like this right now, call SAMARITANS on 08457 909090 straight away. It is a 24 hour confidential helpline. There are different reasons why we might reach this point. Sometimes the chemicals in our brains aren’t working as they should and we may be experiencing depression. Other times, maybe some crisis has occurred, may be your relationship has ended, or you are being bullied, someone you are close to has died, or you have other problems. The feelings don’t go on forever, things will change but it’s best you see your GP or contact a counsellor to find a safe place to talk with someone who will not judge you and someone who will listen. You can contact me by phone or by email if you prefer.
can arise from a physical or emotional shock, either in the present or something from the past that has left a lasting injury. We can feel traumatised when something happens to us which is outside of the range of resources we have developed for dealing with situations. So we may feel a sense of terror and bewilderment. We may be left feeling frightened, out of control, completely overwhelmed. The sense of helplessness and powerless over the feelings that arise are hugely debilitating. If you are dealing with powerful feelings like these and that you don’t know how to deal with them and settle them, then do make contact. Trauma needs careful evaluation and techniques in order to reduce the effects of the trauma. I would offer you a safe space in which you might begin to talk about what is happening for you. I will hear you without judging you and work with you to make sense of what is happening and we will work together to enable you to get the right help to manage the feelings that arise, in order to feel you are back in charge of your life.
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